Ifs

child

sometimes they come to me at night
the ifs
and they howl in every chink
that I did not plug
with substitute thoughts

everybody around me pretends to be living
taking loans
paying interest
one way or the other

grandma has pretended for a long time to be alive
so did grandpa
mom had surgeries ’cause without them
I wouldn’t be born
(perhaps it would be for the better)

everybody around me gets saved for a moment
a mile or half of it
let’s run to the fence
let’s jump over it

 


© Frederick Rossakovsky-Lloyd, 2015

Public Domain Photo

Land Remains
If I Should Die