Light Verse by Don Tidwell


Behind the Scenes
Christmas Music
Rodney's Christmas Eve
Family Christmas Thoughts


Santa Claus is down with flu,
His elves are on a strike.
His Tech Rep from "The Land Of Toys"
Is someone he don't like!!

Rudolf has the colic
So bad his nose won't glow.
The other reindeer spread the word...
They don't want to go.

Mrs. Claus sustained a burn
Her entire arm is sore.
Santa gestured helplessly.
He couldn't take much more!

And so he called a meeting---
Assembled all his staff.
He read them all the riot act
And docked their pay by half!

He scolded them and scoffed at them
And made them all feel bad;
They finally hung their heads in shame.
That old man looked so sad.

They changed their minds and went to work
And overcame the blahs,
Declaring that despite their ills,
They'd help old Santa Claus.

They pictured all the children
Who would smile on Christmas Day
After they received the toys
Packed tightly in the sleigh.

Old Santa donned his Santa clothes
And kissed his wife goodbye,
Hitched the reindeer to the sleigh,
And took off on the fly.

If the glide path seems erratic
During this year's reindeer frolic,
You'll know the reason instantly....
Rudolf still has the colic!!


The music of Christmas peals out night and day--
Out of every shop door, blaring every which way.
Each loudspeaker louder than one heard before,
Enticing the crowds to come buy in the store.

Adeste Fidelis, The First Noel too,
Are blasting much louder than they need to do.
The radio stations all focus their power
To see how many songs they can play in an hour.

Silent Night from the stage of famed Carnegie Hall--
The Messiah resounds, the most famous of all.
Cathedrals bulge full to hear those who perform
Sing this seasonal music so great and so warm.

The stars of the opera, the country folk too,
All willingly demonstrate what they can do.
The many church choirs, the Canadian Brass,
Perform Christmas music with feeling and class.

The airwaves stay full as the season holds sway
And the calendar ticks off the time day by day.
Too soon you are sated with trumpet and voice,
And you wish it would end so that you could rejoice.

Then Santa appears and puts Christmas to bed---
No longer do Christmas tunes bounce in your head.
The music of Christmas will now disappear,
And await the arrival of Christmas next year!

						Don Tidwell


	T'was the night before Christmas
	And Rodney was high,
	His neck stiff from watching
	That sleigh in the sky.

	Secure on his perch
	In his favorite tree,
	He would hide until Christmas
	Had long ceased to be.

	Shar called upon David
	To help get Rodney down,
	Afraid that the word
	Would spread fast through the town.

	So Dave made him an offer
	He couldn't refuse,
	But Rod said "Go Away . . .
	Leave me here with my booze!!"

	Shar, turning to Lee,
	Said "there might be a chance
	That he'll fall from his perch
	If you'll do your snow dance."

	If you'll really get with it
	And dance a big storm,
	He might trade in his perch
	For a chance to get warm.

	And so Lee went to work,
	And with Anne and John Hayes,
	They danced up a snowstorm
	which lasted for days.

	And when it was over,
	Rod brushed off the snow,
	Then began to throw snowballs
	At all those below.

	When this didn't work,
	Shar then called the crowd back,
	To ponder and plan
	A new line of attack.

	She asked for ideas
	From Ed and Joann,
	Saying "Please help me get Rodney down
	If you can!!"

	For unless someone knows
	Of a trick that will work,
	We will have to scrap Christmas
	because of that Jerk!!

	The prices this year
	Made him mad as can be,
	And he swore that for him
	There would no Christmas be.

	So he took his best bourbon
	To keep spirits high,
	And he climbed to his perch
	In that tree in the sky.

	I've pleaded and threatened
	And even tried bribe,
	But all Rod will do
	Is hang on and imbibe.

	He chuckles each time
	As he takes a big slug,
	And he mutters aloud . . .
	"Bah on Christmas!!". . . "Humbug!!"

	By this time the weather
	Was twenty below,
	And a bone chilling North wind
	Had started to blow.

	Then Donna,
	To help get the problem in hand,
	Said "We'll form  a committee
	Of Bob, Bill and Bland;

	And in that committee
	A way will be found,
	To bring our drunk hero
	Back down to the ground."

	In due course of time
	A decision came through.
	Bland said, as the Chairman,
	"Here's what we will do:

	We'll send word up to Rod
	That he take time to pee,
	From the uppermost branch
	Of his favorite tree,

	His stream will be frozen,
	And thus we can hope,
	That his foothold will slip,
	And he'll slide down the rope."

	On the fourth of July  
	I remarked to my wife 
	That we ought to scrap Christmas 
	This late in our life. 

	She paused from her shopping 
	And stared me down cold, 
	Saying, "Christmas will come, 
	Even if you are old" !! 

	Then Labor Day came 
	And I tried a new tack, 
	Pointing out what we'd save 
	If she'd take the stuff back. 

	Again she informed me 
	To get off that kick... 
	That there was no excuse  
	For avoiding St. Nick. 

	Then after Thanksgiving 
	Had Passed in Review, 
	I knew there was really 
	Not much I could do, 

	Because Val blew two paychecks 
	And Trav fell in line 
	And the closets filled up 
	With the loot...all but mine !! 

	Then Vance called from Vegas 
	With flight information 
	About his trip home 
	For the Christmas vacation... 

	Add Terry and his brood, 
	All playing the game 
	And Old Dad was attacked 
	By a slight twinge of shame !! 

	Perhaps it was wrong 
	To suggest the demise 
	Of the symbol of Christmas 
	And all it implies, 

	For there comes a good feeling 
	At this time of year, 
	And your thoughts turn to family 
	And friends you hold dear. 

	So I pondered a bit 
	And then turned "about face" 
	And decided 'twas best 
	To let Christmas take place.....!! 
	And so it will!!

	Have a Merry One....Everyone 



© Don Tidwell, 1953-2003

Twice Blessed Poetry