Household Chores
Light Verse by Don Tidwell

Garbage Morn
Winter Throes
The New Car


	I contemplate the bird house
	    as it sits upon the table
	and the carpenter who made them both --
	    my son, who is so able.
	I contemplate the walnut tree,
	    the roses and the lawn;
	I contemplate my many years,
	    and wonder where they've gone.
	I contemplate the hummingbirds
	    and marvel at their being.
	I contemplate the pleasure
	    of enjoying what I'm seeing.
	I contemplate the fleecy clouds
	    that shade the summer sun ...
	I contemplate, and contemplate --
			And nothing else gets done.

GADGETS I have within my household A host of gadgets true Designed to be my helpmates In the daily chores I do. I fill my leisure time bank With the hours my gadgets save ... I can listen to my stereo Or watch my TV wave. I sweep with my electric broom. I tamp with my compactor; I primp with my electric comb And make up by Max Factor. I perk with Mr.Coffee; I peel with Kitchen Maid ... I Osterize my ice cream And deep freeze my lemonade. I enjoy a soothing whirlpool In my bathtub with Jacuzzi, Or bask beneath an infra-red Which curls my hair up fuzzy. I vacuum with my Kirby And drill with Black and Decker; Those gadgets make more holes in wood Than any old woodpecker!! I keep warm with Mr. Lennox And cool with Frigidaire ... I do the family laundry In my washer-dryer pair. I cook upon my Sunbeam Or use my microwave ... There seems to be no limit To the time my gadgets save. I depend upon them greatly So I sit right down and pout When l'm cheated of their service, Every time the power goes out! GARBAGE MORN Have you ever chanced to notice In a given garbage morn, How some people have to scurry In their race to beat the horn? Frumpy housewives, robed and slippered, Tugging boxes, cans and bags, Filled with smelly kitchen leavings, Household waste and oily rags! Fighting off the neighbors dogs And hungry cats who like to eat, As they strive to move their payload From the carport to the street. Some have light-weight two wheeled buggies, Cans lined up at dress-right-dress; Others cope with sacks and cartons -- Most will break and leave a mess. Stand aside and see the late ones Watch the truck roll slowly by. Sad to see them mount their tonnage ... Sad to hear them curse and cry! To the car then with the garbage, Cram it, stuff it, in the trunk; Lap the truck and leave their cargo With some distant neighbor's junk! Please absorb this moral, ladies, If you loathe this nasty chore: See to it your lazy husband, Gets it out the NIGHT BEFORE!! WINTER THROES I contemplate the mounds of snow piled high upon the ground. I contemplate the cruel gray skies and coldness all around. I contemplate the ladder leaning on the neighbor's shed; The chimney wafting smoke into that blacking thunderhead. I contemplate the dreary days which winter seasons bring And long for April's sunny skies, birds, not too cold to sing. I contemplate the glowing fire which warms my wrinkled hide, And thank the Lord that he sees fit To let me stay inside. THE NEW CAR When you buy a brand new Camry cause the one you had is old, be sure to get the one that has accessories of gold, and Insist upon the color called exotic cashmere beige, for, according to the salesman, that's the current color rage; then Obtain a goodly quantity of soft and fluffy rags to clean the gold accessories as mentioned on the tags. then Park it in the driveway..... keep it washed and looking good, and know that you're the envy of the entire neighborhood!!


© Don Tidwell 1953-2003

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