Light Verse by Don Tidwell
The New Car
I contemplate the bird house
as it sits upon the table
and the carpenter who made them both --
my son, who is so able.
I contemplate the walnut tree,
the roses and the lawn;
I contemplate my many years,
and wonder where they've gone.
I contemplate the hummingbirds
and marvel at their being.
I contemplate the pleasure
of enjoying what I'm seeing.
I contemplate the fleecy clouds
that shade the summer sun ...
I contemplate, and contemplate --
And nothing else gets done.
I have within my household
A host of gadgets true
Designed to be my helpmates
In the daily chores I do.
I fill my leisure time bank
With the hours my gadgets save ...
I can listen to my stereo
Or watch my TV wave.
I sweep with my electric broom.
I tamp with my compactor;
I primp with my electric comb
And make up by Max Factor.
I perk with Mr.Coffee;
I peel with Kitchen Maid ...
I Osterize my ice cream
And deep freeze my lemonade.
I enjoy a soothing whirlpool
In my bathtub with Jacuzzi,
Or bask beneath an infra-red
Which curls my hair up fuzzy.
I vacuum with my Kirby
And drill with Black and Decker;
Those gadgets make more holes in wood
Than any old woodpecker!!
I keep warm with Mr. Lennox
And cool with Frigidaire ...
I do the family laundry
In my washer-dryer pair.
I cook upon my Sunbeam
Or use my microwave ...
There seems to be no limit
To the time my gadgets save.
I depend upon them greatly
So I sit right down and pout
When l'm cheated of their service,
Every time the power goes out!
Have you ever chanced to notice
In a given garbage morn,
How some people have to scurry
In their race to beat the horn?
Frumpy housewives, robed and slippered,
Tugging boxes, cans and bags,
Filled with smelly kitchen leavings,
Household waste and oily rags!
Fighting off the neighbors dogs
And hungry cats who like to eat,
As they strive to move their payload
From the carport to the street.
Some have light-weight two wheeled buggies,
Cans lined up at dress-right-dress;
Others cope with sacks and cartons --
Most will break and leave a mess.
Stand aside and see the late ones
Watch the truck roll slowly by.
Sad to see them mount their tonnage ...
Sad to hear them curse and cry!
To the car then with the garbage,
Cram it, stuff it, in the trunk;
Lap the truck and leave their cargo
With some distant neighbor's junk!
Please absorb this moral, ladies,
If you loathe this nasty chore:
See to it your lazy husband,
Gets it out the NIGHT BEFORE!!
I contemplate the mounds of snow piled high upon the ground.
I contemplate the cruel gray skies and coldness all around.
I contemplate the ladder leaning on the neighbor's shed;
The chimney wafting smoke into that blacking thunderhead.
I contemplate the dreary days which winter seasons bring
And long for April's sunny skies, birds, not too cold to sing.
I contemplate the glowing fire which warms my wrinkled hide,
And thank the Lord that he sees fit
To let me stay inside.
THE NEW CAR
When you buy a brand new Camry
cause the one you had is old,
be sure to get the one that has
accessories of gold,
Insist upon the color
called exotic cashmere beige,
for, according to the salesman,
that's the current color rage;
Obtain a goodly quantity
of soft and fluffy rags
to clean the gold accessories
as mentioned on the tags.
Park it in the driveway.....
keep it washed and looking good,
and know that you're the envy
of the entire neighborhood!!
© Don Tidwell 1953-2003
Brought to you by Poets Collective