Romantic Light Verse by Don Tidwell
R omance is the poet's subject
O thers too, pursue this theme.
M ystic feats of global conquest
A lways dance in sleeper's dream.
N ever dwelling on rejection,
C ataract of passion flows ...
E very true romantic knows.
Other Romantically Inspired Poems
Two signs of full growth were emergin--
strange feelins inside her were urgin.
She bowed to the pressure
and said sweetly, "yes Sir"
and now she's no longer a virgin.
She took her complaint to the pastor,
but shunned all the questions he ast-er.
she wouldn't come clean
with the truth from that scene
so that trip was a total disaster.
(This poem was written for friend, Art "Skinny" Rowland, a well-loved cowboy poet who crossed the Great Divide in 1997.)
He clasped her hand,
She liked the fit.
They wed to make
The most of it.
Then children came;
The first was fun,
But soon they had
She told him when
The count reached ten
Don't EVER clasp
My hand again.
The old man aimed his shotgun
At my puzzled aching head,
And said "son, I hope you're ready,
For you're just about to wed.
You have compromised my daughter
Now your gonna pay the price,
For the way you went about it
Really wasn't very nice.
I've arranged this wedding party
To preserve my daughter's honor,
And if you refuse to marry,
You're about to be a goner!"
I stood there like a moron,
Wounded by this accusation!
She had told me we were playing
I considered full atonement,
Falling down upon one knee,
Looking for a handy loophole
To escape my bride-to-be.
Then the preacher called attention,
As her mother heaved a sigh.
My mother sobbed convulsively,
My throat was very dry.
The preacher started talking
And I took off on the run!
Somehow fate stepped in to save me.
That old man had dropped his gun!
My wife, when slumber beckons,
has a built-in female flaw --
She snores, and sounds exactly
like a sawmill crosscut saw.
That guy in her clothes closet
was a gumshoe, I suppose.
I asked why he was there--
He said "To guard the lady's clothes!"
We talked about vacations
when I called her on the phone --
She wanted to go with me...
I said, "Nope, I go alone!"
She bought herself a brand-new chair --
and smirked at my simplicity.
I fooled her though when she was out,
and wired it with 'lectricity!!
When married to my wife
there is no way to go astray --
She tells me where to go
at least a hundred times each day.
If you would shun this albatross
which goes with married life,
Cling tightly to your bachelorhood,
and do without a wife!!
Old Skinny's kinda hard
on his imaginary wife.
He blames her for events
which brought the miseries to his life
He pans her in his columns
and in poems that he writes too--
He cries that she abuses him,
so what else can he do?
He claims he's dedicated
and upholds his marriage vows,
yet he kills time at the pool hall
and leaves her to milk the cows.
He says she makes him jumpy---
unable to perform.
In truth he wants her near
to keep his morning pablum warm!
He leaves the false impression
that she doesn't give a hoot--
She's just waiting for the chance
to give his skinny butt the boot!
She's vowed to get revenge
but she'll not use his old six-shooter--
She'll just catch him while he's napping
And unplug his damned computer!
I felt the urge to take you out
And paint the town bright red --
Then thought about how old I am,
So took my nap instead.
Some seek a strong shoulder to cry on.
I think I'd prefer a soft breast;
More surface to soak up the teardrops,
and a cushioned, more comfy head rest!
© Don Tidwell, 1953-2003
Brought to you by Poets Collective