So, faithful beating heart, this is it.
You’re showing me to the exit… the party’s over so soon?
The clock is ticking slowly, but the alarm is set
I was counted in and now to be counted out
Well, here comes that movie reel of memories they all talked about
Nobody planned this; I got here by chance
Might never have made it at all
A meeting of parents and theirs, back to the beginning of time
I just wonder what they were all like…
Just lucky they all met
There was no great guidance for me
There was always a path of total freedom
Any path I wanted was there for me to try
Now I’m glad it was that way
And I took it, took so many jobs, travels, girlfriends, ideas…
Where the heck did I think I was going?
I used to look up and ask the skies, to resounding silence
Then I saw it was okay. It was all okay. I was me, being me
Living my life, relating to the world that is
Looking backwards I saw something
Fuzzy at first, and then in focus
I saw I was standing on the shoulders of a thousand generations
Of thinkers, poets, philosophers, scientists – and every kind of person
Did it really matter if I knew the truth about all the deeper questions?
Not to others maybe, but to me. So why not seek it out? And I did
I thought: If you know where you stand, you’ll know where you’re going
Well I found out enough
Found out that dreaming doesn’t make it real, but love is beautiful
Which one should I have married?
I made my choices…
Life is full of beauty when you know how to find it
The hellish times though…? I wish I could have avoided those
Hacked and burned, like a boat carved out for a journey.
I was alone quite often.
‘Footprints in the sand?’… No, no thanks.
I found some real kindred spirits though
Good pals, real lovers. I gave them all I had
I’m dying and it’s totally as it should be.
Dylan you were wrong
I needn’t ‘rage, rage against the dying of the light’
Clock on the wall is fading fast…
and the one inside is ringing like the clappers… Hey…
If you didn’t get my message…
I just wanted to tell you…one last thing…
The secret of LIFE…
The secret to ALL of life is to………..
© Robert Lindsay, 2015
I once heard an audio poem where the author depicted his dying thoughts. I thought it was very well done and an interesting way to look over the story of a life. So here I tried it for myself.
I’m NOT dying and I’m usually very happy with my lot. In fact though the whole idea of dying IS a poignant thought. You’d probably find this paradox out for yourself if you tried writing your own last words.