The Golden Glow

An Alternative Ending to Lewis Carroll’s The Walrus and the CarpenterBriny_Beach

 “He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.” -Jonathan Swift

“We have to talk,” the Oysters cried,
“We’re filled with Mercury!
We thought we better mention it
just out of courtesy.”
“That’s sucky,” said the Carpenter
however can that be?”

“Contaminants from mines off-shore
would now prove Swift was right!
A fine rowboat lies up ahead,
and it will solve our plight.
For there’s a glow well down the beach-
a yellow golden light. ”

The sulky moon and shining sun
obscured that halo some
but Oysters said, “There’s magic there
that’s why you all must come.
That glow’s your raison d’etre– press on
we know you won’t be glum!”

Three flying piglets towed the boat
and left it near the shore.
The Carpenter said, “This is great,
but still we have no oar!”
The Walrus clapped his flippers, yelled
“That’s what these things are for.”

The Walrus pushed until the glow
they’d seen was right ahead.
Then overboard the Oysters jumped,
and gleefully they said,
“The water’s clear and we’ll stay here,
the place for our new bed.”

The Walrus and the Carpenter
had followed far that glow.
What could it be? They’d wondered long-
a burning need to know.
And then they knew, and saw ahead
a treat they’d not forego.

The trip had taken quite a while,
their throats began to parch.
The Walrus shouted gleefully,
“We’ll end this tiresome march-”
We’ll munch a bunch, for there I see
McDonald’s Golden arch.”

© Lawrence Eberhart, 2014


I love it, start to finish, mercury to McDonalds. If I were to quote my favorite lines… well, it would be the whole thing. You’ve really captured the original perfectly, but took it in a whole new direction and beyond. Just cannot say enough. Grinning ear to ear, Larry!

Kenn Henry