Indonesian Sonnet

Indonesian Sonnet

This is a form invented by Jose Rizal M. Reyes of the Philippines
Also referred to by him as  Indo-Chinese Double Dance
Generally Iambic Petameter
Volta at or following line 9
3 Quatrains + Couplet
Rhyme scheme: abab abab abab ab

Example Poem:

1166. Helen grew old

these wrinkles on my face I cannot hide.
my limbs are getting weaker by the day.
my eyes grow dimmer though they never cried.
my hair and crowning glory is now gray.

the beauty for which princes vowed and vied;
the beauty which fair Paris snatched away;
the beauty for which warriors dared and died:
like all that’s mortal undergoes decay.

can Penelope flaunt her secret pride
that Ulysses, for her, would madly slay?
although without her love he can’t abide,
there were just too few corpses on display.

but all is vain as time can’t be denied:
all beauty fades for we are made of clay.

— Jose Rizal M. Reyes
January 28, 2009G

My attempt

CYA Labels (Indonesian Sonnet)

“You could be a winner”, the package said,
“No purchase necessary.”  Ain’t that great?!
“Details inside”.  These thoughts went thru my head…
I’ll grab a few; for free there’s no debate.

A chainsaw file in box with text that pled,
“Don’t use while saw is running.”  Got that mate?
A mattress label warns, implying dread,
You should not swallow! (Something sure to sate.)

A box of matches warns, (Just guess ahead),
“Contents may catch fire.” Unexpected trait?
These notes don’t help and may confuse instead,
but all do serve, more humor to create.

“Shake well and buy often” can’t be misread.
Just consume more so product sales inflate.

© Lawrencealot – Oct. 21, 2012

Visual Template

Note: The template shows that idealized stress.  Actually in S1L1, “winner” is a trochee substitution-  which is ok, by the way.