Category Archives: humor

Pi-Archimedes

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• Pi-Archimedes is a simpler variation of the Cadae Verse. Named for the Greek mathematician Archimedes, (c. 287 BC – c. 212 BC) who defined Pi. In this verse, the first six digits of Pi are represented by 6 lines and word count per line. Pi = 3.14159 . . (My original source is lost to me and it was recently pointed out that I had incorrectly posted the sequential digits of Pi. I don’t know if this was my error or an error from the original source. I have corrected the 6 numbers and the word count for each line to the correct sequence.) 
The Pi-Archimedes verse is:
○ a hexastich, a poem in 6 lines.
○ measured by the number of words in each line 3-1-4-1-5-9 to match the numerical sequence of the first six digits of Pi.
○ unrhymed.
Pi by Judi Van Gorder

Not my thing,
numbers.
Algebra is an enigma,
mud
that mucks up my brain.
“You use math every day”, they say, not I.

Pasted from http://www.poetrymagnumopus.com/index.php?showtopic=1003#pi
My thanks to Judi Van Gorder for years of work on this fine PMO resource.

My example

What College Taught Me (Form: Pi-Archimedes)

“Pi r square
is
what they taught me
Dad.”
“Fools! Everyone knows
Pies are round and cornbread are square, son.”

© Lawrencealot – January 6, 2015

Octava Real

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The Octava Real is the Spanish version of the Ottava Rima. This 14th century stanzaic form, like its Italian counterpart, is a narrative, often telling the story of important events.

The Octava Real is:
• stanzaic, written in any number of octaves.
• hendecasyllabic, written in 11 syllable lines.
• rhymed, abababcc.
• a narrative, tells a story.

Pasted from http://www.poetrymagnumopus.com/index.php?showtopic=1913
My thanks to Judi Van Gorder for years of work on this fine PMO resource.

My example
Assailing Wassailing (Form: Octava Real)

It’s friendly and noble I guess to wassail
if wifey approves of your gaggle of friends.
You all sit around drinking pints of good ale
insulting each other, then making amends.
Too often somebody will end up in jail.
It’s time that I stop it, my wife now contends;
my children agree and my doctor does too,
“wassailing is not for a codger like you.”

© Lawrencealot – December 30, 2014
was·sail (wŏs′əl, wŏ-sāl′)
n.
1.
a. A salutation or toast given in drinking someone’s health or as an expression of goodwill at a festivity.
b. The drink used in such toasting, commonly ale or wine spiced with roasted apples and sugar.
2. A festivity characterized by much drinking.

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You may choose any or no meter. This is catalectic amphibraic tetrameter.

Octava Real

Fantasy

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I recently acquired the book “The Study and Writing of Poetry,” which features poetry and poetry forms created and written by women. Today I will share forms created by Irene Gramling, Verna Lee Hinegardner, Lillian Mathilda Swenson, Remelda Gibson, Mary Owen Lewis, and Chiquita LoJuana Gonzolas.

The Fantasy 

The first form featured was created by Irene Gramling, and she created it about fifty years ago (Study and Writing of Poetry, 126).

MUST HAVES

–The first two stanzas have an indented format and the final stanza does not indent at all (see below).

–Three stanzas:

Stanza #1

Line #1 = 4 syllables
         Line #2 = 4 syllables
                   Line #3 = 8 syllables
                             Line #4 = 4 syllables
                   Line #5 = 4 syllables
         Line #6 = 4 syllables
Line #7 = 4 syllables

Stanza #2

Line #1 = 4 syllables
         Line #2 = 4 syllables
                   Line #3 = 8 syllables
                   Line #4 = 4 syllables
         Line #5 = 4 syllables
Line #6 = 4 syllables

Stanza #3

Line #1 = 4 syllables
Line #2 = 4 syllables
Line #3 = 8 syllables
Line #4 = 4 syllables
Line #5 = 4 syllables
Line #6 = 4 syllables
Line #7 = 4 syllables

–Rhyme: 

Stanza #1 = abccaba
Stanza #2 = deffed
Stanza #3 = gghhiii

COULD HAVES or WHAT IS THE POET’S CHOICE IN ALL THIS? 

–Topic, although “[i]t lends itself to humor and/or satire” (Study and Writing of Poetry, 126).
–Theme.
–Tone

Pasted from http://www.writing.com/main/newsletters/action/archives/id/5968-Newer-Poetry-Forms-Created-by-Women-Pt-2.html

My example

Family Audition

Her Audition (Fantasy)

Amarah Hi!
  Those glasses make you look astute
    You met the mob.
      D’ya get the job?
    If not, then why?
  You still are cute.
So don’t you cry.

Can’t tell you’re bald
  with that big hat,
    and heisting pa’s false teeth was cool.
    They stop the drool.
  You’re one smart brat!
No, no one’s called.

You best hustle
with that bustle
mom wants it back;
that is a fact.
You’re mom will talk if Hefner calls
or Esquire stalls –
She’s got the balls.

© Lawrencealot – December 13, 2014

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Fantasy

Dipodic Quatrain

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Dipodic Quatrain is a quatrain written in podic or folk meter with 2 stressed syllables per line.
• Podic Verse or folk meter is a measure of verse simply based on the number of heavily stressed syllables in a rhymed line. The number of unstressed syllables are not considered. It is a hold over from Alliterative verse of the Anglo Saxons but instead of the irregular strophic verse, stanzas and rhyme are employed, something learned from the Normans.
The Dipodic Quatrain is:
• stanzaic, written in any number of quatrains.
• podic, written with 2 heavy stresses per line with no regard to the number of unstressed syllables.
• rhymed, rhyme scheme either abab cdcd etc. or aabb ccdd etc.

Crisis by Judi Van Gorder

Trouble is here
folks out of work
lost career
no pork.

Money tight
rolling up sleeves
taxes bite
family cleaves.

Pasted from http://www.poetrymagnumopus.com/index.php?showtopic=669#dipodic
My thanks to Judi Van Gorder for years of work on this fine PMO resource.

My attempt

Sacrifice for Rhyme 

Any time
I pen a verse
And use bad rhyme
It makes it worse.

Heaven knows,
my thoughts aren’t deep,
attempts at prose
puts folks to sleep.

I think dipodic
quatrains could
be hypnotic
if written good.

© Lawrencealot – December 2, 2014

Canzonetta

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The Canzonetta or Canzonet and Canzonetta Prime are variations of the Canzone with a more definitive frame. It is a 16th century Italian secular composition often with pastoral, irreverent, or erotic themes.

The Canzonetta or Canzonet is:
• at least 2 octaves, made up of 2 quatrains of alternating rhyme.
• written with no fixed meter or line length.
• composed with a refrain, repeated in L8 of each octave.
• rhymed, ababcdcD, efefgdgD.
• is called a Canzonetta Prime when the rhyme scheme is ababcbcB dbdbebeB. In this rhyme scheme there is often a repeated rhyme word to strengthen the repetition, but it is not required.

Pasted from http://www.poetrymagnumopus.com/index.php?showtopic=1159
My thanks to Judi Van Gorder for years of work on this fine PMO resource.

My example

You Look a Mess (Canzonetta Prime)

If you should choose to go out shopping
while wearing curlers in your hair
or sporting flip-lops that are flopping
Why should anybody care?
Appearance is not cause for dramas
even in the public square.
Although those look like mom’s pajamas
apparently you do not care.

The curlers surely have a cause;
for whom is it that you prepare?
What if you met you own in-laws
or little children you might scare?
With due concern for other folk,
at least you should don leisure wear.
Your disrepair looks like a joke
apparently you do not care.

© Lawrencealot – November 20, 2012

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Canzonetta

Blind Rhyme or Hidden Rhyme

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Hidden Rhyme or Blind Rhyme is an exercise verse, sometimes used in poetry workshops and classrooms in which the end-word of each line rhymes internally early within the next line. This practice appears to be a loose descendant from 4th century Celtic poet’s use of aicill rhyme.

Hidden Rhyme, or Blind Rhyme is:
• suited to light verse.
• structured at the discretion of the poet.
• best when L1 sets a rhythm and the following lines maintain the same cadence.
• composed with the end-word of each line rhymed internally in the following line.
• often but not always, written with the first line rhyming with the last line.

Battle Ground Judi Van Gorder

That darn gopher has got to go!
I know he is God’s creation,
but damnation, he is a pest
at best who burrows under ground
and is bound and determined to eat
the sweet and tender roots of my garden.
I’ll harden my heart and deliver the blow!

Pasted from <http://www.poetrymagnumopus.com/index.php?showtopic=1102>
My thanks to Judi Van Gorder for years of work on this fine PMO resource.

My example

Shit Creek (Blind Rhyme)

I’ve got to hurry must skedaddle
lost my paddle up the creek.
“Don’t freak son, we’ll get another
before your mother sez ‘Aw, shit!’
Run in that store and get a paddle.”

© Lawrencealot – November 18, 2014

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Blind Rhyme

Bagarthach

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Bagarthach verse was hatched in the science fiction novel The Reefs of Earth by American writer R. A Lafferty. In the novel, alien immigrants to earth occasionally speak in verse. They call it Bagarthach Verse and it has powers beyond the words. (Well, doesn’t all good poetry?) In the book, the mean spirited wishes of the verse often come true. The verse is similar to Ruthless Rhyme. In this world written by earthlings, the verse form would be categorized as Light Verse.

The Bagarthach is:
• funny or clever but mean spirited.
• short, one quatrain.
• syllabic 8-9-8-9 syllables per line, sometimes all lines are 8 syllables.
• rhymed abab.
Here is the first Bagarthach verse in Lafferty’s book, spoken during an argument between two aliens.
“I’m turning livid in this bog,
This wooly world that spooks and spites you.
You’ll find that picture’s got a dog!
I hope the blinking bugger bites you!”
So be careful what you write..Consequently the alien to whom the verse is directed is found dead from a dog bite…..
(Yes, I actually bought and read the book for this research.)

Pasted from http://www.poetrymagnumopus.com/index.php?showtopic=110
My thanks to Judi Van Gorder for years of work on this fine PMO resource.

My Example

Just Standing in Line (Bagarthach)

You had to rush to get ahead
with thirty-four items in your cart.
I hope you feel a sense of dread
while I turn around right here and fart.

© Lawrencealot – November 11, 2014

Octaz Rhyme

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• The Octaz Rhyme is a simple invented verse form introduced by Chazz Combs.
The Octaz Rhyme is:
○ an octastich, a poem in 8 lines.
○ syllabic, 3-5-8-10-7-5-4-2 syllables per line.
○ rhymed, abbccdda.
○ centered on the page.

Pasted from http://www.poetrymagnumopus.com/index.php?/topic/2192-invented-forms-from-poetry-styles/
My thanks to Judi Van Gorder for years of work on this fine PMO resource.

My example

Petition for Slack  (Octaz Rhyme)

Just the facts
No need to emote
or offer up some obscure quote.
Just lay it on me darling, here and now.
I’ve screwed up again somehow
If I gave offense
it’s ‘cus I’m dense,
relax.

© Lawrencealot – October 22, 2014

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Octaz Rhyme

Left-Handed Poems

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Left-Handed Poems
Type: Structure, Style, Rhyme Scheme Requirement, Other Requirement
Description: A quatrain rhymed abab where the first three lines lead the reader in one direction, then the fourth line shocks by pulling the whole meaning of the poem in a different direction.
Technically, this could be any poem which starts out misleading the reader, but the developer, Johnn Schroeder, tended toward the abab quatrains. It is more of a style than a form in that sense.
Attributed to: Johnn Schroeder
Origin: American
Schematic: abab
Rhythm/Stanza Length: 4
Line/Poem Length:         4

Pasted from http://www.poetrybase.info/forms/001/164.shtml
My thanks to Charles L. Weatherford for his years of work on the wonderful Poetrybase resource.

My example

The Daisies Were the Clue

I did not shirk with my home work; my teacher’d made it clear
that in her view I’d better do the work and get on track.
There was enough quality stuff beginning to appear
but then I saw the fatal flaw; it wasn’t my knapsack.

(c) Lawrencealot – October 22, 2014

Mid-Swap

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Mid-Swap
Created by England’s Jenny Buzzard, this form requires adherance to a strict structure.  It contains four quatrains with a center couplet, at a syllable count of eight per line.  The rhyme scheme is:  A1abb   ccdd   A2A1   eeff   ggaA2    Or, to put that in an example: Start out with a line in rhyme “A,”  XXXXXXXa   XXXXXXXb   XXXXXXXb   XXXXXXXc  XXXXXXXc   XXXXXXXd   XXXXXXXd   Do once more a line in rhyme “A.” Start out with a line in rhyme “A.”  XXXXXXXe  XXXXXXXe  XXXXXXXf    XXXXXXXf   XXXXXXXg   XXXXXXXg   XXXXXXXa   Do once more a line in rhyme “A.”

Pasted from http://the.a.b.c.of.poetry.styles.patthepoet.com/ItoN.html

Specifications restated:
The Mid-Swap is:
An 18 line poem
Stanzaic, consisting of four quatrains separated by a couplet.
Isosyllabic, consisting of 8 syllable lines.
Rhymed: A1abb   ccdd   A2A1   eeff   ggaA2
Refrained, as indicated by the capital letters in the rhyme scheme.

My example

Off-balance (Mid-Swap)

When you went crazy as a kid
like loosening the pepper lid
you managed then to stir the pot,
and frequently you were not caught.

You lobbed a snowball high and far,
before we even saw the car.
Of all our throws, that one was tops
despite the fact you nailed some cops.

You did for fun the things you did
When you went crazy as a kid.

The camp advisor you’d short-sheet
each time we went on our retreat.
In college you moved drunk guy’s bed
from quiet dorm to quad instead.

You disregarded proper form,
exciting times became our norm.
Don’t let age stop you, God forbid!
You did for fun the things you did.

© Lawrencealot – October 21, 2014

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Note: this template shows iambic tetrameter, but meter is not mandated.

Mid-Swap