Category Archives: humor

Bina

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Bina
Type:
Structure, Metrical Requirement, End Word Requirement, Isosyllabic
Description:
Bob Newman has taken the general idea of the sestina and extended it both upwards and downwards from the six-line stanza it normally uses. The Bina is the two-line stanza version. Like the sestina, it is preferable to use isosyllabic lines.
Attributed to:
Bob Newman
Origin:
England
Schematic:
End word repetition pattern:
12
21
Envoy: (12)
Strengths:
It is much shorter and more practical that the sestina.
Weaknesses:
Having shorter stanzas, the end words come back very quickly, so while it isn’t as repetitive and possibly monotonous as the sestina, they will be a very strong presence in the poem. This could make the poem somewhat comic, intentionally or not.
Starting Point:
Because it is only five lines, the flexibility of the end words is not nearly as important as in the sestina; however, they should be chosen well enough that they can be used three times each in five lines and not grate on the nerves.
Rhythm/Stanza Length:
2
Line/Poem Length:
5
Status:
Complete
Bina
An even smaller variation with just 2 keywords and 5 lines is possible; we may as well call this the bina, then we can have:
Wry Bina
When young Michelle was thirsty, she would long
For “that blackcurrant drink – is any left?”
I wonder, now that she’s grown up and left,
If maybe I indulged her for too long.
When in the tooth she’s long, she’ll have none left.
A big thank you to Bob Newman

My Example

Trained Wives     (Bina)

The earning of money has been up to me,

the spending of it’s been up to my wives.

I’ve tried adjusting by taking new wives

but they’ve all done their jobs better than me.

The question for me is who trains those wives?

© Lawrencealot – December 26, 2013

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Awdl

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Awdl
An awdl is a Welsh ode. Awdlau (that’s the plural) come in twelve different varieties, and it will take me a while to get through them all (if I ever do). All the poems on this page will be awdlau. 
There are 24 Welsh standard verse forms altogether. The other twelve are made up of eight kinds of englyn and four kinds of cywydd.
One important reservation: I believe all Welsh-language awdlau are required to exhibit some kind of cynghanedd in every line. In the descriptions below, this will not be mentioned (and in the examples, I will not attempt it). It is just too difficult and complicated for us non-Celts. If you really want to get to grips with this, I recommend the book Singing in Chains (see books page). 
As Confucius once remarked, the page of a dozen awdlau begins with a single form:
Hir a Thoddaid
According to Singing in Chains, the Hir a Thoddaid is the most common form of awdl nowadays. Here’s a silly example:
Lovesick
I take back what I said about your knees –
They hardly knock at all. Forgive me, please.
My meaning and my words are chalk and cheese.
I love to cuddle you. You’re not obese.
I have caught a rare disease of the heart
When I see you I start to want to sneeze.
I didn’t mean to speak ill of your chin.
In pointing out it emphasised how thin
Your body was, I thought I’d make you grin.
Is paying you such compliments a sin?
I see I’ll have to discipline my tongue –
The songs I would have sung must stay within.
I’m sure that I did not suggest your arms’
Uneven lengths failed to augment your charms.
Believe me, love, they caused me no alarms.
I’ve seen far worse on girls from local farms.
A little skewness often calms me down.
So please, my love, don’t send round the gendarmes.
I never did complain about your nose,
Although it’s quite surprising that you chose
That singular proboscis. I suppose
It makes you quite distinctive, like your clothes.
More easily described in prose than verse,
You’re better active, worse when in repose.
And darling, though it’s true I said you smelt,
I meant “of roses”, honestly! I’d spelt
It out clearly. I don’t know why you felt
That I’d been less than kind. You’re sweet, you’re svelte,
My poor heart raced when I knelt to request
Your hand. Your bum’s the best I’ve ever felt.
Each line has 10 syllables – in no particular metre, though I seem to have lapsed into iambic pentameter here. All lines of each stanza, except for the penultimate one, rhyme together in the conventional way. The penultimate line rhymes with them all in an unconventional way – its seventh, eighth or ninth syllable contains the rhyme. Furthermore, the word at the end of the penultimate line rhymes with a word somewhere in the middle of the last line. In the first stanza above, for example, there’s disease/sneeze and heart/start. 
The first 4 lines are the hir, and the last two are the toddaid (which mutates to thoddaid when you put the phrase together, due to the endearing pecularities of the Welsh language). The hir can have 2 lines or 6, rather than the 4 used here, but all its lines must always rhyme together. 
The books by Hopgood and Skelton agree about this form, and that’s good enough for me. Some sites on the web say the last line should have only 9 syllables, but I suspect they are wrong. 
And if you don’t believe CYNGHAHEDD makes this difficult poetry to write, with the expertise to determine is praiseworthy or even correct limited to a few Welsh and a very few other poets, take a look at what Wikipedia has to say about it

I have found little joy in reading such poems as they almost always appear stilted.

 

So I am (after viewing others) going with Bob Newman’s interpretation and recommendation – let those writing in English write enjoyable poetry.

Restated specification for Hir a Thoddaid:

A poem of either 6 or 8 lines.

Stanzaic:  Consisting of a hir (being either a mono-rhymed quatrain or sestet,

                   and a toddaid which is a couplet with interlaced rhyme.

Isosyllabic: 10 syllables

Rhymed: aaaa(ab)(ba)

 

Here is my example poem:

Crinoline Tease (Hir a Thoddaid)

 

You dressed in fancy silks and satin clothes 
and feather boas, hats, and nylon hose, 
and crinoline as well to augment those. 
and not in frequently you would expose 
a flash of flesh to decompose a guest. 
I liked that best, and therefore I proposed. 
Somehow you liked me wearing my plainclothes. 
You ate me up with eyes just like a doe’s. 
When we’re together we forget our woes 
I thrill to sit nearby when you repose 
and lean and touch you with my nose and lips 
and touch your breast and hips while still you pose. 
© Lawrencealot – December 26, 2013

 

Related Welsh Form are HERE.

 
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Vers Beaucoup

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  • Vers Beaucoup French-many rhymes) is an invented stanzaic form that is riddled with rhyme. Created by Curt Mongold who suggest the lines within the quatrains be enjambed. The Vers Beaucoup is:
    • stanzaic, written in any number of quatrains.
    • metered at the discretion of the poet.
    • rhymed, including multiple internal rhyme sounds. Rhyme scheme (a-a-a)(a-b-b)(b-c-c)(c-d-d) (e-e-e)(e-f-f)(f-g-g)(g-h-h) etc.
 My thanks to Judi Van Gorder for the fine resource at PMO
My example poem.
Stamp Collecting Hazards     (Vers Beaucoup)
It’s wrong that all along she showed her thong,
so wrong- and it was camp for that young vamp
with stamp upon her back to show such lack
of tact when it is said that she is wed.
She’s not a gal I’d caught, or even thought
a lot about but yet I’d like to sweat
and pet without concern that I discern
I’d earn when mister stamp collects his tramp.
© Lawrencealot- Dec 8, 2013
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Rhupunt hir

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A Rhupunt hir is merely a Rhupunt that is NOT broken into short stanzas.
 Rhupunt
Type:
Structure, Metrical Requirement, Rhyme Scheme Requirement, Stanzaic
Description:
(RHEE-pint) This is a syllabic line of three to five tetrasyllabic sections. It is sometimes presented as stanzas (tercets, quatrains, quintets) rather than one line. The main rhyme can change after two or more lines. The internal rhyme can be consonance instead of true rhyme.
Origin:
Welsh
Schematic:
xxxa xxxa xxxa xxxb
xxxc xxxc xxxc xxxb
xxxd xxxd xxxd xxxb, etc.
Or
xxxa xxxa xxxa xxxa xxxb
xxxc xxxc xxxc xxxc xxxb
xxxd xxxd xxxd xxxd xxxb, etc.
Or
xxxa xxxa xxxb
xxxc xxxc xxxb
xxxd xxxd xxxb, etc.
or
xxxa
xxxa
xxxa
xxxb, etc.
Thanks to Charles L. Weatherford of PoetryBase

Related Welsh Form are HERE.

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Sestalena

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9:56 AM
Form: Sestalena
Invented by: Caroline Ann Gordon on Allpoetry
syllabic  6/8/8/6/8/6
rhyme    abbaba
Length 6 lines
a Lines Iambic Trimeter
b Lines Iambic Tetrameter
Example Poem
Apprenticeship     (Sestalena)
I found that gasoline
is not accelerant preferred
for burning work-site junk.  A nerd,
they let me learn just fine,
The boom! The bounce! I looked absurd.
The blast turned out benign.
Construction guys have fun
in teaching newbies with a sting.
First wheelbarrow I tried to bring
across a plank built run
On my first turn, I dumped the thing.
Applause by everyone.
The egg noodles were free
but changed the texture quite a bit
of my jam sandwich- a new hit.
My colleagues laughed with glee.
The jokes on me just never quit.
Yet, all were good for me
The AM radio
that day in nineteen sixty-three,
announced the death of Kennedy
so that is how I know
when noodle sandwich jubilee
became a subdued show.
But thanking good old Zeus,
I transitioned from labor skills
to other ways to pay my bills.
So I have no excuse
my poems don’t provide more thrills,
I’m just a bit obtuse.
  © Lawrencealot – January 10, 2013
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Clogyrnach

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Clogyrnach clog-ír-nach, the 16th codified Welsh meter, an Awdl, is associated with what I can only assume is the name of an ancient poet, Cynddelw and is framed with a cyhydedd fer couplet combined with a longer form. It is rarely used by today’s poets.
The defining features of the Clogymach are:
  • stanzaic, written in any number of quintets, combining a cyhydedd fer *(a rhymed couplet of 8 syllable lines) and a tercet of two 5 syllable lines followed by one 6 syllable line of 2 equal parts, 3 syllables each.
  • rhymed, rhyme scheme AABBA. The 1st phrase of L5 rhymes with the previous line and the 2nd phrase rhymes with cyhydedd fer couplet.
  • flexible, L5 of the cinquain can be added to the end of L4 creating a quatrain or can be broken into 2 separate lines creating a sixain.Clog Ear Nach by DC MartinsonInside my head there is a fight
    That leaves me void of sleep at night:
    My ear infected,
    By cure neglected.
    Dejected – Till dawn’s light.
x x x x x x x A
x x x x x x x A
x x x x B
x x x x B
x x B x x A
x x x x x x x A
x x x x x x x A
x x x x B
x x x x B
x x B
x x A
x x x x x x x A
x x x x x x x A
x x x x B
x x x x B x x B x x A
Youth
Smooth lines with the color of peach,
time invites them to dream and reach.
Peer imitates,
lust lures, promise baits,
a world waits, ours to teach.
— Judi Van Gorder
Prism
Within the gemstone, facets glint
like sun on snow with winter’s tint,
sparkling colors fuse
in translucent hues
mark my muse with fired flint.
—Judi Van Gorder
Many Thanks to PMO, a fine resource,  for  the above information.
*Technically the cyhydedd fir has internal and linked rhyme so I would simply omit that
designation, with the rhyme schemes shown.

Example Poem

 

Thanksgiving Pies     (Clogyrnach)

Wife’s made more pies than we’ll have guests

Her cooking ranks among the best.

I’m inept – thus banned

can’t cook things not canned,

Works great I must confess.

 

© Lawrencealot – November 27, 2013

Related Welch form at HERE.

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Blitz Poem

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  • The Blitz Poem is an invented verse form found on line at Shadow Poetry, it was created by Robert Keim. As the name implies it is a rush of phrases and images with rapid repetition as if creating a sudden and intense attack on the senses. It is a kind of twisted Chain Verse. The Blitz is:
    • stanzaic, written in 25 couplets, a total of 50 lines.
    • unmetered. Lines should be short, but at least 2 words, like rapid fire.
    • unrhymed.
    • composed with words that are repeated from line to line in the following pattern:
      • L1 A short phrase, can be cliché.
      • L2 The first word of L1 is repeated as the first word of L2. From here on, the last word of the even numbered line is repeated as the first word of each line in the next couplet through L48.
      • L49 is the repetition of the last word of L48.
      • L50 is the repetition of the last word of L47.
    • unpunctuated.
    • titled, which includes the first words of L3 and L47.
Many Thanks to Judi Van Gorder for the above.
Here are the rules:
  • Line 1 should be one short phrase or image (like “build a boat”)
  • Line 2 should be another short phrase or image using the same first word as the first word in Line 1 (something like “build a house”)
  • Lines 3 and 4 should be short phrases or images using the last word of Line 2 as their first words (so Line 3 might be “house for sale” and Line 4 might be “house for rent”)
  • Lines 5 and 6 should be short phrases or images using the last word of Line 4 as their first words, and so on until you’ve made it through 48 lines
  • Line 49 should be the last word of Line 48
  • Line 50 should be the last word of Line 47
  • The title of the poem should be three words long and follow this format: (first word of Line 3) (preposition or conjunction) (first word of line 47)
  • There should be no punctuation
There are a lot of rules, but it’s a pretty simple and fun poem to write once you get the hang of it.
Many Thanks to Robert Lee Brewer for the above.
 
Example Poem:
 
Dudes to Party   (Blitz Poem)
pop some corn
pop some  tarts
tarts  tastes good
tarts needs heat
heat that tart
heat the cider
cider gets warm
cider smell invites
invites the neighbor
invites neighbor’s wife
wife is a tart
wife is a  friend
friend with benefits
friend indeed
indeed we’re swinging
indeed we’re singing
singing folksongs
singing Christmas Carols
Carol’s the wife
Carol’s now dancing
dancing on table
dancing with guys
guys like popcorn
guys like tarts
tarts are sweet
tarts get warm
warm the popcorn
warm the brew
brew some for me
brew some for you
you laugh and sing
you brought joy
Joy is single
Joy will mingle
mingle under mistletoe
mingle everywhere you know
Know she’s a tart
Know fun’s to start
start to hug
start to kiss
kiss the missus
kiss the miss
miss nothing
miss Trixie is here
here is the fun
here is the party
party on dudes
party hearty
hearty
dudes
© Lawrencealot – November 27, 2013
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(Note: Template was not in compliance, the First word of the Title, must be the last word of the poem.

Analogue

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  • Analogue  is a metered invented form that is limited to 3 rhymes. It’s source is Rena Ferguson Parks a 20th century poet and educator.The Analogue is:
    • a poem of 9 lines.
    • metered, all lines are iambic pentameter.
    • rhymed, rhyme scheme abbaabbcc.
When I searched this was the only information available on the web, a big Thank you to PMO and Judi Van Gorder!!
Example Poem
Ladies Choice     (A double Analogue)
A group of girls without their men espy
a hotel; “Women only”,  sign proclaims.
“Hmm, let’s discover if it meets our aims?”.
The bouncer was a most attractive guy.
He told them how he hotel worked and why.
Enjoy your choice of floors to please all dames
each floor has signs instead of merely names.
The first floor sign said “men are short and plain”.
The gals just laughed then went on up again.On two the sign said “Short and handsome here”.
Not yet said one, continue to ascend.”
“Floor three has tall and plain”, one told her friend,
“We need to go on up, I think that’s clear.”
On four they saw the perfect sign appear:
“All men are tall and handsome without end!”
The girls were ready but could not pretend–
What might they miss? So they went up to five.
“Empty! You can’t please any gal alive.”
© Lawrencealot = November 26, 2013
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Amphion

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• Amphion, another 20th century American verse form invented as a teaching tool. It alternates tetrameter lines with dimeter lines, created byViola Berg.The Amphion is:
○ a poem of 10 lines.
○ metered, tetrameter lines alternate with sets of rhymed dimeter couplets.
○ Rhymed, rhyme scheme  abbaccdeed
Super Bowl Sunday by Judi Van Gorder
A day of football at its end,
the bowls of chips
and gooey dips.
Emotions now are on the mend
the ups and downs
the fan base clowns.
The black and gold have got the win,
the players crow,
the losers go
their loss is carried on the chin.
Pasted from
A great thanks to Judi Van Gorder for making PMO a premier resource.
Syllabic 8/4/4/8/4/4/8/4/4
Example Poem
Bar Bully Ballet (Amphion)
He sits there staring at his drink.
his life is bad
and he’s so sad
A bully entered– what’d ya think?
He grabbed the glass
He’s such an ass–
The sad guy cries he is so blue.
“Damn all’s gone wrong,
“Twas my swan song–
Then this ass drank my poisoned brew! ”
© Lawrencealot -November 26,2013
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amphion

Lai

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Lai
The lai is a form of French origin, even more ancient than the virelai ancien (which evolved from it). It is not to be confused with the Breton lay,  a quite different form of which Chaucer‘s Franklin’s Tale is an example; or the lay, a term sometimes used for a short historical ballad, such Sir Walter Scott‘s Lay of the Last Minstrel; or with the word lay used simply to mean a song. 
Having ensured your total lack of confusion, let me tell you what the lai actually is. It’s like a slimmed-down virelai ancien, with the stanzas not linked by rhyme. Here’s one:
Lai of the Cow
The praises I sing
Of that wondrous thing
The cow.
Let the rafters ring!
My Muse shall take wing,
I vow.Foods our cattle bring
Are fit for a king,
And how!
As white as can be,
The smooth quality
Of silk,
The epitome
Of maternity,
Its milk.You have to agree
You never will see
Its ilk.
For an honoured guest
Save the very best:
The cream.
While those not so blest
Make do with the rest,
And dream.
So nice to digest,
That when it’s suppressed,
Folk scream!You can churn milk, so
It becomes yellow
Butter.
What could beat that? Oh,
Don’t scoff in that low
Mutter!
I will not forgo
Such pleasure; I’m no
Nutter.|
Or you cheddar it.
Thus you make a bit
Of cheese,
A prerequisite
For one exquisite
Good wheeze:
Let’s get the grill lit
And make Welsh rarebit.
Yes please!
Our bovine-sourced feast,
Has it still not ceased?
Good grief!
No, last but not least,
Its flesh when deceased:
The beef.
The worth of this beast
Could not be increased,
In brief.
The syllable count in each triplet of lines is 5, 5, 2, and each triplet rhymes aab. The number of such triplets must be the same in each stanza, and at least two. To assert my virility, I chose to use three. According to the definition I have used, all the triplets within a stanza must use the same rhymes – so in this example the rhyming scheme for each stanza is aabaabaab. 
However, I have in front of me a poem by Paul Verlaine – it’s called Chanson d’Automne – which has lines the right length for a lai, but stanzas that rhyme aabccb. So is it a lai? I don’t know, but it’s a far better poem than mine, which is the important thing. 
As with many of these old forms, the effort involved in writing one is usually out of all proportion to the worth of the finished poem. But don’t let me talk you out of it!
Thanks to Bob Newman, for the above.  His site is a wonderful and reliable resource.

Related Forms: Kyrielle, Double Refrain Kyrielle, Lai, Lai Nouveau, Viralai Ancien, Viralai, Virelet

 
 
Example Poem
Lai Mistletoe About
Hang the mistletoe
tie it with a bow
then wait.
You’re aware, I know
You just use it though
for bait.
It’s most apropro
how it works, with no
debate.
© Lawrencealot – November  21, 2013
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